Your New Squeeze

Having had a torrid love affair with burgers in Bristol for just over a year now, I think I’ve experienced every emotion. It’s been my foray into a polyamorous relationship across the city; plus I have practically zero shame when it comes to eating the apple of my stomachs’ eye. Only after thinking I’ve found The Oneβ„’ did I find another- and another.


By definition, I can’t claim that I’ve been cheated on- I’ve either simply encountered loves-at -first-sight whose profile pictures didn’t live up to the content or I’ve known that I was in for a disappointment and did the deed anyway; because at this stage, who cares about self-esteem when an urge needs feeding?Well, I’m done with just finding any port in a storm, because I’ve found Squeezed.


Beleaguered and alone, I find myself at the harbourside again. My eyes catch bright yellow tiles almost glowing from one in a series of shipping containers. I’m met with the beaming smile of Alex Hayes, the owner-previously of Rebel Roll who has just completed another hefty order.


I opt for the St. Werburger-double beef patty, Monterey Jack, confit shallots, smoked bacon & caper aioli & chipotle tomato relish-with ancho salted fries and a 12oz ‘Yard Sale’ lemonade. I just have to find out.


Two actual fistfuls of beautiful ground beef are thrown on the grill alongside a freshly cut brioche bun. The cheese is laid on top of the patties to gently melt and as the edges wilt, the bun is dressed with a ruby red relish, a patty, and the supple caramelised confit shallots. The next patty comes in and the top bun is treated to a decent lick of smoked bacon, caper aioli, and is then assembled.


I bite in and I can’t quite believe it. ‘Oh God’Β  I can hear myself scream, ‘it’s happening again’. You can taste e v e r y t h i n g and all in total harmony. Juicy and extremely well seasoned, you just can’t get a better patty than that! With that little bit of charr and blush, the Jack cheese has welded the beef together, allowing a pocket for those sweet shallots to sit in. The aioli is a masterstroke. A way of distributing the smokey bacon flavour with a tangy hit, it ensures a consistent and even flavour profile down to the last bite.


The relish plays off against this, offering an almost fruity element that doesn’t intrude but highlights. Between bites, I turn to the ancho seasoned fries-reminiscent of paprika, but with a sweetness over heat. They’re crisp on the edges and fluffy inside, with not a limp one in sight. Then the thirst comes and is utterly vanquished with Alex’s take on a classic lemonade. It’s just a bit more sour than sweet! Zesty and ice cold, it refreshes and resets my palate for another round. Did I mention that all this culinary genius came for less than a tenner?


I cast my starry eyes back to the menu and see words like ‘peanut chipotle BBQ sauce’ on one item and ‘smoked oyster & tarragon aioli, wild mushroom duxelle’ on another. Like a gentle and considerate lover, there’s an invitation to breakfast with the ‘Morningside Burger’- beef patty, smoked bacon, bloody mary aioli, potato rosti & fried egg.


There’s no way this can be a one night stand.